The pandemic and everything associated with it was new territory for every single one of us. This new territory, this new way of life, made me nervous, so I knew others would be, too. When I'm nervous, my mind tries to quickly find solutions. I can't stop my mind from trying to find a silver lining in any uncomfortable or unknown situation. I firmly believe in everything there is good, you just have to look for it. When you find it, fear of the unknown is easier to handle and accept. I saw an opportunity to reach out to others with the new way of creating and sharing the bulletin. So, I asked my principal if I could start a new section to the bulletin, a Silver Linings Section, where I would write about the positives of our new pandemic world. In the new section, I encouraged others to send me their silver lining moments, and few times, I had someone send me something, but it was mostly all me. It was a challenge, but I had a responsibility. I enjoyed the challenge and wrote something uplifting every day.
When the school year ended, I had developed a following of sorts, fans made up of students, parents, and teachers. I was blessed with their emails telling me how they enjoyed my silver linings every day. A few people told me I should start a blog, that if I did, they would read it.
So, I started this blog.
But, writing this blog hasn't been nearly as easy for me as my daily requirement of writing a silver lining for the school's daily bulletin was. I can't quite put my finger on why I'm dragging my feet about my blog, why I'm finding it difficult to write for this when it came so easily for the daily bulletin. I think the difference is that I was trying to uplift people with my silver linings for the bulletin. I had a reason. I wanted to make people feel less nervous about the pandemic. There was purpose for my writing. I was writing for high school students and/or anyone who was interested in what I had to write. And it's not that I write in any profound sort of way. I just wrote my thoughts based around something currently happening in everybody's world, but I tried to make it uplifting and maybe funny.
For my blog, I currently don't have an audience. I'm just writing. I'm more or less writing for and to myself. That seems a little self-absorbed. It's not part of my personality. I'm a people-pleaser. I like to make others happy. So, it's taken me a little while to get started. I can't seem to find my groove.
I was out in my garden the other day. I love when a rose bush grows. Rose bush leaves are green, but most times, they start out a very deep red, almost burgundy color. I took a few pictures of different red leaves, bursting into this life. They were so small, so tender. They were the very beginning of something that would eventually be very beautiful.
I started to wonder how I would write a silver lining about the beautiful, tiny red leaves. I wanted to somehow use the red leaves that eventually grow into the stems of beautiful roses as some sort of symbol for myself and my struggle with writing for my blog. There's something about those little red leaves that made me think about my struggle. So, here it goes.
When a rose blooms and it is trimmed from the bush to be enjoyed indoors, that trimmed spot on the stem will stay dormant for a little while. It's almost as if the rose bush needs to recover from losing the rose it grew. It's a small shock to its system. But, in time, above the first five-leaf spread below the trim, the rose bush will start to grow again. It will start slowly. There will be a little bump, and after a few days, small red leaves will make their silent explosion into their new world. After a few more days, the leaves will become larger, additional red leaves will follow their lead, and the original leaves will start turning green. In time, as more and more leaves come forth, they will reach towards the sun, growing taller and stretching into a branch with many green leaves. And thorns. Let's not forget the thorns. The thorns are part of the rose bush's personality. It's protecting itself from the certain loss it knows will eventually come. But, it can't stop itself from wanting to produce another thing of beauty; and after many days, the small red leaves, all now large and green, a new rose bud begins to grow.
I think I will continue with my writing as the mood strikes. It is something I take joy in. And, even though I take the chance of many roses being trimmed, it's not necessarily a bad thing. After all, many trimmed roses create a beautiful bouquet than can be enjoyed by many!
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